I'm Dancing With Tears In My Eyes
by LiveLifeAudaciously
Summary: A story about pain and pleasure, happiness and sadness, love and heartbreak. Tadamu and Amuto


**ONESHOT. This storyline came to my mind yesterday and yeah. I wanted to write this before I lost inspiration and drive for it XD This was inspired by the song "I'm Dancing With Tears In My Eyes" (hence the title) by Ke$ha (She's awesome x3) It's a really amazing song and I highly recommend listening to it if you haven't already so that you can get the whole feel of this story :D Hope you like ^^ The flashbacks are what's italicized. I do not own Shugo Chara or the songs I used :D Oh and Amu is 16, Tadase is 16, and Ikuto is 18. The other characters are just like Amu and Tadase. Except Kukai is 17 ;D Enjoy~**

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It was Sunday and my friends and I were picking up around the park as our teacher asked us to since he was too sick to do it himself.

Rima, Tadase, Kukai, Nagihiko, Yaya, and I were spread all over the park, picking up cans and candy wrappers.

We just finished cleaning up the trash in the park when I saw Tadase heading toward me.

"H-Hinamori-san?" he spoke. His face was slightly red.

"Yeah, Tadase?" I replied. What's the matter with him?

"Um, uh... Would you.. um.. like to be my... uhh.. girlfriend?"

The last part was barely audible but I still heard it.

Did Tadase just say this?

He eagerly looked at me, his face now as red as a tomato.

Arkward minutes passed between us before I gave my answer.

"I'll, um, think about it, Tadase," I said, avoiding his gaze. I think my face was growing red just like his.

"Oh, sure, take all the time you need," he said nervously then ran past me.

Tadase just happened to collide into Rima on his way down the path.

"Excuse me, Mashiro-san," he said quickly and then continued running down the path, out the entrance of the park.

"What just happened, Amu?" Rima asked, her right hand wrapped around the trash bag handle.

"It was nothing, Rima," I said quickly.

"I see," Rima said and a suspicious look came into her eyes.

Everyone else just happened to gather around me as they were finished cleaning too.

Nagihiko and Kukai asked about Tadase but I just said "He wasn't feeling well so he went home early."

"The little prince can't handle all the stank around here," Kukai said jokingly then broke into a chuckle.

We bid our farewells after dropping the trash bags in the dumpster behind the convenience store.

Should I say "yes", I thought as I walked home. Tadase's awesome but I don't think I feel that way about him.

Then a certain blue-haired boy popped into my mind. Hmm.. This might actually be a good idea.

_~The next day~_

As I waited at the front gates for him, a thought passed through my head. Amu, you shouldn't be doing this. It's just not right. You know those moments on t.v. when the character is trying to decide between right and wrong and those angel and devil figures pop up? Yeah, I was actually having one of those moments.

Angel: "Tadase will hate you after all this is over."

Devil: "You can always break up with him before he finds out anything."

Angel: "She won't be able to keep this from him forever."

Devil: "And if she can?"

They stopped talking as Tadase's blonde hair came into view. I eagerly ran up to him and practically jumped into his arms.

"Uh, Hinamori-san?" he said, his face growing redder by the second as my arms were wrapped around his neck.

"You don't have to use honorifics with your girlfriend, silly," I said in a playful voice.

Silence filled the air. Then "Finally!"

And cheers broke the silence.

They must've really wanted us to hook up, I thought with Tadase still locked in my embrace.

I noticed something blue behind the trees a few yards away from me and Ikuto came into my sight. He must've seen the whole thing. Hehe, perfect. I closed my eyes and then cuddled up against Tadase's neck. I think he was still red when the teachers tore us apart but I didn't really have a chance to look since the bell rang right then.

The days past and Tadase and I continued to act lovey-dovey around everyone. Especially in front of Ikuto.

After two weeks, I finally got a reward for all of my hardwork.

Ikuto called me out after school on a Friday after Tadase had to go to a student council meeting.

"Hey, I got invited to this new club and I could bring a guest so you wanna come?" he asked, a sneaky tone in his voice.

"What about Tadase?" I asked innocently.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything to you," Ikuto said then winked.

We agreed to meet up at the club at eight that night.

He bought me a drink (no alcohol XD) and then guided me to the dancefloor.

The music started. The lights flashed on and off with bright colors.

_"Don't stop, make it pop! DJ, blow my speakers up tonight! I'ma fight til we see the sunlight!" _The song said.

"Come on, Amu! Dance!" Ikuto suggested, his body moving.

I did just as he said. My hands moving over my head, my hips swaying from side to side.

I don't know what caused me to. Maybe it was the music. Or the mood. But I stared at Ikuto for a few seconds and then leaned in. For a second, it was quiet as our lips met. Then the moment was gone when we both leaned back.

"You haven't kissed Tadase yet, have you?" Ikuto asked, his body stopped moving.

My silence must've answered his question since he continued to dance after that which was weird since he was no longer smiling.

It was 11 PM when he drove me home.

"See ya Monday," I said with a smile on my face as I walked out of his car.

"See ya," he said, his face like a statue, and then drove off into the distance, leaving me staring at his car until it turned the corner.

I washed up and then walked into my room, ready to go to bed.

I was about to climb in when my cell phone rang with "Tadase" on the caller ID.

"Hey, Tadase," I said happily, as I picked up the phone.

"How could you, Amu?" he screamed. I could hear a quiver in his voice. The kind I always get after I finish crying.

"What are you talking about, Tadase?" I yelled back, my heart rate speeding up. Did he find out? No way, he couldn't have. No unless he was there. Wait.

_I was eager to clear up the arkward mood between Ikuto and I so I said what I felt._

_"This is so fun, Ikuto! Thanks for taking me here!" I said excitedly as I continued to dance around the floor, people doing the same around me._

_"I knew you would like it," Ikuto said. His look seemed to soften a bit as he came closer to me. When people are in my bubble, I tend to get pissed at them. But with Ikuto it's different. _

_As my eyes avoided Ikuto's, something else caught my attention while my gaze wandered to the back of the club. The door just shut closed but I know what I saw. Was that Tadase? What would he be doing here? Nah, no way, I thought and then brushed it off, continuing my dance with Ikuto. _

"Don't be lying to me! I saw you with him!" he shouted.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, dammit!" I screamed, my eyes starting to get glassy.

"Of all people, you picked Ikuto?"

I didn't know what else to say. But Tadase did.

"Why did you even agree to be my girlfriend? Was it just to get his attention? Huh, was that it?

"Yes, ok! That was it!" The second those words were out, I knew I wanted them back in.

The other line remained silent.

"Then I guess we're over," I heard him say after what seemed to be forever and then the phone clicked off.

I dropped the phone, still trying to take it all in. He was crying. Crying because of me. All because of my selfishness. My thoughts continued to go on for ten minutes before I finally stopped.

I stared at the phone still lying on the floor. I broke his heart. He loved me so much and yet, I did this to him. A flash of lighting illuminated my bedroom. Then thunder boomed and crackled outside my window. I sprinted out the room and ran down the stairs. I took the first jacket that I saw, which was laying on the couch, and wrapped it around my shoulders. Then I ran into the night, to the park where all this started.

The rain just started and my hair is sopped with water. Each drop continues to fall as tears trail down my face. No matter how much I cry, no matter how many times I apologize, I know he won't forgive me for slowly rotting his heart away, little by little. My knees gave way on the hard pathway and I held my face in my hands. Then I heard a sound. Something just fell. I looked around and then saw it. How did I get Dad's jacket? I slowly took the small object in my hand and flipped the blade so that I could see clearly. It glistened, as if calling me. I used my left hand to feel the sides of the smooth metal and then an idea came to me. Yes, this could cure everything. Tadase will be happy with me out of his life and I highly doubt Ikuto would want a girl that would cheat on her boyfriend. Yes, this will stop everything. No more pain, no more heartache. I took the handle and ran it vertically down my wrist, the blood seaping out. Even though it hurt, I wouldn't stop. I know Tadase is feeling pain far worse than I am. The world began to blur and then I dropped to my right side as the blood continued to come out, the knife a few feet in front of me. Haha, this is what you get, Amu, I thought. A person like you deserves to die like this. Tadase came to my mind while the world continued to blur in and out. I'm so sorry for making you feel like that, Tadase. I hope you can forgive me. Let's meet again someday, okay? When your time comes. Then again, I probably won't be going where you'll be. Not to the light above. There's only one place for me. But I can still hope, right? Maybe God will forgive me. We'll see what the future holds, I guess. Then the world faded into nothingness.

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**This is probably the saddest story I'll ever write. But we'll see ;3 Please excuse any mistakes XD Hope you liked it ^^ I love reviews ;D**


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